Mckays madness
by Jerex
Summary: McKay is slipping into madness while his team mates plot to save him by tricking him into taking a holiday. major plot twist in Chapter 5 Abandoned
1. Chapter 1

McKay's Madness

Chapter 1) the plan

McKay was a problem, Weir sighs as she walks along the corridors of Atlantis, he was always withdrawn, throwing himself into his work and difficult, but even more so these days, it simply wasn't healthy he was working himself ragged, he must have a relaxing break she decided even if I have to order him too, and get several marines to enforce it, trouble was that she'd tried persuasion, tried begging, pleading, bribing, he was adamant that their was nothing wrong with him, he refused to see Dr heighmayer, refused to see Carson, and only socialized with his team mates during briefings and on missions, he was going to fight her decision tooth and nail, with the ferocity of a cornered man, and even if she does win this round, he'll find a way to continue working, even if she locked his laptop away and locked him in his room, Earth was no better he'd insist on helping out at the SGC or at Area 51, if only their was somewhere he could be sent where he couldn't do anything but rest and relax, just as weir reached Rodney's lab and saw the do not disturb sigh she turned around abruptly and headed back to her office.

Why didn't I think of it before she thinks, the nucleus of an idea forming, she smiles evily, he'd never forget it if he figures out the truth but with some help from Carson, Sheppard, Ronon, Teyla and Zelinka she should be able to work out the kinks in her plan, oh yes McKay was going to have a vacation, even if it killed him.

0o0o0

Dr Weir, Major Lorne, Dr Becket, Dr Zelinka, Colonel Sheppard, Ronon and Teyla are in the meting room, it is late and dark.

"We all know why were here" everyone nods and Sheppard, Carson and Zelinka say "Rodney" at the same time.

"He's been working his self ragged" complains Carson.

"You're a Doctor, can't you stop him?" asks Ronon "like you stop Sheppard"

Sheppard's annoyed glare simply shrugs of Ronon like a duck in water.

"There's nothing medically wrong with him, except exhaustion, and an overdose of caffeine, even then McKay's system even more than most of the scientist's, can't work properly without caffeine" shakes his head "it's a common addiction for scientists"

Doctor Weir nods "he's refused all attempts to help him see reason, and refuses pointedly to see Hieghmayer" she sighs and continues "therefore if he wont take a break for his own good we must make him"

"I am not sure it would work" says Zelinka uncomftably "McKay would never allow himself to be beaten to submission, he would find a way to continue working somehow"

"I am aware of that possibility, which is why I enlisted Major Lorne's help"

"YMC K01" we have got to have a word with the gate techs thinks Sheppard "my team scouted it last week, very few animals and no sign of civilization, ancient, wraith or human, no matter how old" Lorne smiles "nice and peaceful if a bit boring, some of the plant life is apparently fascinating and a real Biological treasure trove" he says with a roll of his eyes.

"Rodney will be forced to relax, because there is nothing else to do" Teyla smiles.

"Nice, of course theirs no way we'll be able to keep, McKay there longer than five seconds" Sheppard drawls.

"I am aware of that, which is why, after you have left, Atlantis will suffer an incident"

"A virus" explains Carson "a nasty one"

"Won't we just return to the Alpha site" asks Teyla.

"No because, there's a chance you all have been infected, and so far there have been no indication of the infection, spreading to the Alpha site" smiles Carson.

"His laptop" smirk's Sheppard.

"I can steal it from his pack before you leave, along with the ancient scanner" Zelinka shrugs "a mix up in supply's, we can't look into the situation at moment because of Virus"

"Sounds good" says Ronon.

"We still have the fine details to work out, and if this works you'll be stuck on YMC K01 with McKay for a minimum of three days"

"Well not exactly my idea of a vacation but we can take it" claims Sheppard.

"Will Atlantis be okay without Rodney in charge of the scientists" asks Teyla.

"Many scientists will begin saying their prayers and thanking god, over the next three days" smiles Zelinka before becoming more serious "he may be difficult to work with, but he is a genius, I shall assume role of acting chief scientist" he sighs "so more work for me"

"The scientists can treat it as a break, not exactly a vacation for them, as I shall expect them to continue working, however they can take it easy and anything that requires supervision, will have to wait until Rodney returns" details Weir.

"They will not be happy" sighs Zelinka "but it won't be the first tantrum the Science department has had, and probably won't be the last"

Sheppard made a mental note to ask Rodney about that later.

"Then it's agreed" Weir says "this meeting is over"

Weir and Zelinka get up and leave while Sheppard and his team mates stay behind.

"You really think this'll work?" asks Ronon.

"I am sure Dr. McKay would prefer to do some work while on the planet at least" Teyla states.

"Well tough!" says Sheppard "even Rodney needs a break, believe me he may not thank us for tricking him like this, but it's for his own good"

0o0o0

Unaware of the plotting behind his back, Doctor Rodney McKay was working diligently in his lab.


	2. Chapter 2

McKay's Madness

Chapter 2) the man

They all think I'm mad, huh what do they know, idiots the lot of them, a bunch of incompetent morons, well maybe not Radek, he at least shows some sighs of intelligence, but the rest…sigh here's hoping the Wraith or the Replicators kill each other before reaching us.

Now you may think that is a rather pessimistic view, well so what if it is? It's the truth.

McKay has finished typing up his reports and despite it been 2AM in the freaking morning heads back to his lab to continue working, merely pausing to collect a fresh pot of coffee, he then continues with his thoughts.

And Kavanagh and his lackeys, McKay shudders slightly, what could possibly possess a rational, logical scientific mind to conduct that depleted ZPM experiment with a partial overloaded and definitely overworked Naquadah generator, god it's a wonder we haven't blown are selves up a million times over, who needs the wraith? When we can do their job for them?

It's not as though I haven't tried to take the situation into my own hands but nope, it's never worked.

And McKay was right, he had tried, several times, he'd made attempts to enlist Sheppard and Zelinka, some other scientists, Eldon had proven to be the most co-operative, even so he had refused to directly get involved in murder, huh a killer with a conscience, seems like he was telling the truth about been innocent after all.

"How difficult is it to kill Kavanagh" he muses out loud

Apparently it was impossible, he'd made plans of course, but always Zelinka or Sheppard or someone on their orders would get in the way.

He'd attempted to stun him/drug him and throw him over a balcony and into the freezing ocean, he'd tried to (accidentally of course) electrocute him, have him transferred to a dangerous planet (MN03–X25, where there are giant ravenous man-eating tree's growing next to the stargate, in front of an acid lake, oh and not forgetting the giant bugs, and scorpion like creatures found just over the nearest ridge past the mud bog where the snake like worms inhabit) he'd attempted to get him placed on dangerous missions (Elisabeth had stopped that one, though she was under the impression it was a cruel joke McKay was playing on him) it was so close that time he'd fixed an ancient device to explode when he entered his and his cronies lab, unfortunately he survived the minor explosion, but it had been fun to berate him for causing it.

McKay smiles sardonically as he begins multitasking, running simulations and tests on the latest Ancient device discovered in Atlantis, it must have been something hardwearing to survive not only flooding but a direct hit from a Wraith dart last year, and also coming up with new and ingenious plans to kill Kavanagh once and for all.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3) the game is afoot

Everything was planned right down to the last detail, Sheppard's team were about to leave on a scheduled mission (unown to a certain chief scientist) they were actually leaving for three days of rest and relaxation, everything had been checked and double-checked and triple checked, rehearsed and practiced, why did Weir have the feeling something was going to go wrong.

"Let Zelenka go, he needs the experience anyway" complains McKay as he stands in front of the Stargate.

"What!" exclaims Zelenka from the console he was repairing.

"You see? He's dead keen"

"Nice try" Sheppard tells him smirking from his post leaning against one of the gate-rooms walls.

"I'm needed here" McKay continues to complain rather than rise to the bait.

"If it's on our mission list, we go as a team" Sheppard declares, silencing the annoying astrophysicist's whining.

"Zelenka" Dr. Weir calls over the Czech scientist "are the repairs nearly finished?"

He nods and says "Yes the crystals merely needed cleaning thougherly, I believe ten thousand years without a spring cleaning is the cause of the problem"

"How's McKay?" she asks him.

"Well he only spent five minutes trying to get me to replace him on this mission which is a definite improvement I think" he answers her question honestly.

"And his equipment?" she asks him "all removed accidentally by a mistake" he shrugs "there ready to go"

Ronon wasn't looking forward to his vacation, somehow a few days with a grumpy McKay with nothing to occupy his humongous mind didn't count as recreation in his book, it wasn't possible to be sure about Teyla's feelings on the matter as she excelled at hiding her true feelings behind a neutral mask, but she realised that Rodney needed a brake, some time to rest before he burns himself out.

"Dial the gate" Dr. Weir tells the Canadian gate tech "Yes mam" his answer was so professional, so formal, so unlike Peter's, even though it had been over a year since Peter Grodins death she still couldn't believe that he was truly gone from Atlantis, it'd didn't seem the same without his prim and proper accent announcing off world activations and dialling the gate.

The gate activates with a whoosh forming an upright 'puddle'

"Colonel Sheppard" Weir announces "you have a go"

With a morose McKay in toe colonel Sheppard's team enter the event horizon get dematerialised and are then transmitted through the wormhole to the planet of destination where they are re-materialised.

"Okay Teyla take point Ronon cover our six, Rodney in the middle" Sheppard smirks slightly, they had to keep up the pretence for a while until McKay finds out they can't return to Atlantis for a week.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 On P930-276 no one can hear you scream

'To say Rodney wasn't taking it well was more than just and understatement' thought Sheppard.

Teyla was 'certain that he would begin to relax when he got over the shock'

'This isn't going to end well' Ronon keeps his thoughts to himself having been against the idea from the start.

As soon as they had stepped through the stargate into the warm lush surroundings of a tropical forest, Rodney had opened his mouth to complain, ten minutes later only Ronon glaring at him and 'fondling' his gun each time Rodney opened his mouth made the 'fake' exploration mission slightly more peaceful, not that the forest was silent, there must have been millions of animal cries all around them but fortunately there were very few almost no insects at all. Yet the sounds of the birds and flying amphibian small dragon like things songs were still more attractive than ode to I hate my life by Dr. Rodney M McKay Astrophysicist.

Teyla seemed to be enjoying the colour and atmosphere of the jungle and providing there were no large predators around even though Stackhouse's team had searched for and been unable to find any that had been last year, a lot could change in a year, the only reason it hadn't been considered for the alpha site was the noise of the jungle and the fact the trees and vegetation grew right up to the gate and probably over it when it hadn't been in use for a while.

Now here comes the fun part dialing Atlantis up only to be told there's a disease wide spread over Atlantis and that they can't return until it is under control. Now Sheppard had placed bets with Ronon and Teyla he thought McKay would scream, Ronon thought he would burst into tears and Teyla felt reluctantly that he would faint. And as Sheppard dialed the Atlantis address he so hoped he won, he stood to win a crate of Athosian 'moonshine' sure Teyla kept insisting it was traditional Athosian wine but it was still 100' proof. And a elaborate long decorative knife from Ronon, it was kinda creepy but it was also heavily polished so light gleams of it, so as well as stabbing your enemies with it you could blind them by reflecting light into there eyes. Of course he also stood to lose his music CD collection to Teyla or his Predator/Alien DVD collection to Ronon if he lost but he was feeling lucky today.

The gate activated and the wormhole was established, Sheppard opened a communication channel "This is Sheppard transmitting IDC" that was an abbreviation for 'Identification Code' and was typed into a GDO that was strapped to your wrist for safe-keeping, GDO was an abbreviation of Garage Door Opener, Sheppard firmly believed that they were better at naming things than the Ancients, I mean when you compared names like Gate-ship and Hippaforalkus to names like Puddle-jumper and the Orion there was no contest.

"Elisabeth were coming home" Sheppard started to walk towards the stargate. "Bout time" mutters McKay.

"Negative Colonel" Weir replies through the coms, Sheppard stops and acts confused, he'd been practicing this moment for a week and it wouldn't do to have McKay smell a rat now "Elisabeth" he shakes his head "what's going on?"

"Atlantis is contaminated" she replied "and as such is under strict quarantine"

"My God" exclaims McKay buying it hook line and sinker "is it serious?"

"We believe some spores have escaped containment and mutated with some Earth virus's to create something more potent" Carson explains over the coms "fortunately it hasn't proved fatal, yet but we have dozens of cases in the infirmary and no way to tell yet who else has been infected, the whole of Atlantis could be contaminated"

"Well what about us I mean are we going to…" the hypochondria kicks in, didn't take long.

"Relax Rodney" sighs Carson sounding worn and ragged, yet still retaining his patience, dam thinks Sheppard we'll have to give him the acting award "the accident in the biologist's lab occurred after you left on your mission, you and the rest of your team are perfectly safe, if run down as your last physical proved"

"What do you want us to do Elisabeth" Sheppard intervenes it wasn't good to let McKay remain the centre of attention.

"There's nothing you can do just stay there and don't return unless we give the all clear"

"What!" exclaims McKay "suppose worst case scenario everyone on Atlantis is killed of by the virus and were stuck here forever"

"You know it's only Atlantis we can't dial to there are thousands of other addresses we could dial that you claim you've memorized" Sheppard goads him, before an argument between him and McKay could be achieved Weir speaks again "the Deadalus has been called back it will swing past the planet and pick you up if we haven't got the situation under control by then"

"But the Deadalus wont reach us for at least a week" complains McKay.

"I'm sorry but I have to go" says Weir "we need to keep our attention on the problem at hand Rodney and the sooner it's solved, the sooner you can return"

"And what are we supposed to do while we wait, hum?" asks McKay exasperated.

"Take a brake" replied Weir before turning of the radio, the stargate de-activates.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5) Descent into madness

**Bluerock 7: sorry to say but its whumping time for McKay but sooner or later the others will suffer, Kavenagh should suffer on principle (he's not in it yet) Weir should get a slap on the wrists for been so namby pamby all the time and for shouting at SGA-1 when they trade the C4. Sheppard should receive his own medicine in the form of a McKay sized headache, How about a situation back at Atlantis? Zelinka will soon see the folly of stepping into McKays shoes. **

**Zafaran: Sorry for not updating regularly I have loads of ideas for new fic's and literally no time to carry hardly any of 'em out let alone update my old fics.**

Chapter 5) Descent into madness

This had to be a dream a hideous horrible dream decided McKay totally unaware that at the exact same moments Zelinka was thinking almost the exact same thing, or he would have been if his mind hadn't been focused on the task at hand, namely the strangling of Kavanagh who had yet again caused the experiment he had been told to monitor (nothing more nothing less) he wasn't even allowed to touch the bleeding thing, to explode.

It was a pity that several marines seemed to be of the opinion that killing Kavanagh there and then was the wrong course of action to take. But then what did they know? He was acting Chief Scientist was he not? If he decided it was in the best interests of Atlantis to wring Kavanagh's neck like a chicken's then he should be allowed to do so with the blessing of all in the city, surely nothing could help them more in there fight against the Wraith and Replicators than the immediate and painful death of Kavanagh? Okay so it didn't have to be painful but the pain was regretfully necessary as it makes me happy, ahh nothing so soothes the soul than the sound of Kavanagh in intense agony.

McKay was in denial, he was pacing, he was complaining, he was refusing to enjoy himself and relax; to be frank it was giving Sheppard a major headache. One that he had no choice but to ignore, his team had known the risks of a vacation with McKay, they had volunteered knowing the risks but somehow Sheppard couldn't help but feel that Elisabeth had shafted them with this.

'Going on a hike through the woods!?' McKay's brain was slowly losing the will to think 'this isn't happening this isn't happening' but it was 'of course this is all Captain hairdo's fault, "What could be better than a nice hike through the woods on a summers day" I mean I told him myself practically anything up to and including slow and painful torture leading to our eventual and unavoidable deaths' besides they were on an alien planet how did he know it was summer here? Admittedly the heat, the blazing sun and the sticky atmosphere all contributed to the conclusion that it was indeed summer but that was hardly conclusive.

McKay had tried reason, he'd tried begging, he'd tried blackmail and downright trickery, but still here he was trailing behind a somber Satedan beginning to develop the suicidal longing for a wraith culling or a volcanic eruption or something to distract him from, nothing. McKay had never believed in God he could understand why most people would require the belief in something beyond them, beyond life, in a heaven a reason for existence, but like most scientists, Einstein was his God. Besides after most people learn about the existence of the Stargate, and more prominently the Goa'uld and most races obsession with convincing humanity of their godhood, usually forcing said human civilization to worship them fanatically as well, they usually found it at least difficult to go on believing in an almighty God.

But now McKay prayed to every deity he could think of for something to happen, anything? He would prefer to return to Atlantis as soon as possible or even sooner if they could manage it, but for now just something to relieve the mind numbing boredom would be appreciated.

Creak, creak? Suddenly some one yanked the earth away from McKay's feet and he felt himself fall into the darkness of the abyss, to startled to even let out a cry of exclamation as the Earth swallowed him up.


	6. Chapter 6

Thanks to crystalgirlalways for the review, please leave a review after reading this story

_Thanks __to __crystalgirlalways for the review, please leave a review after reading this story._

**McKay's Madness**

Chapter 6 the Edge of Reason

"Ow, ow, ow, ow" complained McKay as he rolled over onto his back, it was dark, there were rocks poking into his ribs, and then a shatter of earth came down on top of him, he'd fallen in a hole, he couldn't believe it, he'd actually fallen into a hole, Sheppard was never going to let him live this down, he, he, wait a minute where was all the light coming from, there wasn't any luminous lichen or any plant life at all for that matter down here, and the ever so small hole in the rock layer was to small to allow much light down here.

"Oh God I don't believe it!" McKay didn't know whether to laugh or cry; he'd only gone and fallen straight into a hidden ancient's lab.

"Has anyone seen McKay?" Sheppard asks his team, Ronon was sharpening a spear, probably intending to go hunting for, well for whichever alien prey he could find on this planet and Teyla was collecting berries from the bushes around the stargate which had become their base of operations "are you sure those are safe?" Sheppard asks taking a berry from Teyla "of course Colonel Sheppard" replies Teyla, Sheppard shrugs and throws it into his mouth "at least I am sure they are not harmful" she continues, Sheppard freezes and swallows cautiously, Ronon looks on in amusement "how sure?" asks Sheppard nonchalantly "Reasonably" replies Teyla as she walks away, turning back she says "oh and no, I have not seen McKay recently" Sheppard stands stock still trying to listen to his stomach but as he feels nothing decides he's not going to die and turns to Ronon who hefts up a bundle of homemade spears ready for the hunt "nope, last time I saw him he was in denial' the runner tells Sheppard "from the look of it he was trying to come up with a way to make a new lap top out of twigs" Sheppard winces "ah he found out about that already huh?" Ronon nodded and stalked of, calling over his shoulder to Sheppard he tells him "He has an impressive temper for one so small"

McKay stood up and looked around the lights in the top of the walls were still functioning and giving of a low blue glow, but the ceilings lights were either broken or fused, the ceiling? McKay took another look and did a double take, a sky light or the ancient equivalent of one, it had been left open and the rocks and earth had come together to form a covering blocking it from view, it was only by chance that he'd stumbled across it literally, and it was pure luck that he hadn't injured himself in the fall, their was a lot of earth and rocks scattered across the floor, thousands of years of collapse by the skylight most likely.

"It must be shielded" realizes McKay speaking out loud "that's the only possible explanation, as to why its power readings didn't show up on the scanner "McKay to Sheppard, McKay to Teyla, Ronon? Anyone?" he stops trying to contact the others on the radio and throws up his arms in frustration "of course the shields blocking the signals, McKay pauses wondering what he should do, sooner or later the others would start searching for him and with Ronon they'd soon track him to the open pit up top side, and it was against regulations to start searching an ancient structure without first letting the rest of the team know where you are and what your doing, and secondly your required to have a military escort unless the place is safe and already been searched previously, but McKay was still upset about been dragged against his will to this god forsaken planet where he was subsequently stranded by the powers that be so he decided to check out the lab while he was waiting for the others.

"After all" he said to himself "what could go wrong"


End file.
